I always have to pull out my calendar to count how much time has passed since I wrote my first entry, April 17, 2011. Three weeks, tomorrow, the day I'll be baptized.
My mindset, as I wrote that first entry, was obviously confusion. My purpose was to research, in hopes of finding guidance. Answers. I was going to give Christianity, Buddhism, and Islam a "fair chance" at "winning" me.
Since my son was born, I've had a very strong spiritual connection with God. I knew that creation was not of this earth, that it could only be achieved supernaturally. My son was much too perfect. Perfect for me. Perfect for my family.
So I needed to set out in search of God. Intentionally seek Him. Wherever that would take me. My life was incomplete without Him. I thought it would take me years to get through The Bible, Koran, encyclopedias, wikipedia, and whatever else I could use to educate myself. I really wasn't prepared to be completely swept off my feet by His Grace. I opened myself up to Him, and He won my heart. Like love at first sight.
It's like hearing about that couple who went to school together, never really had a relationship, had the same mutual friends, but hadn't ever noticed one another. Then, one day, they just hit it off. And three weeks later, they were married. Because they knew they were soulmates. Kind of like that.
"...seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him
if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul."