A very good friend of mine reminded me of something I came to know in my heart to be true, about forging close friendships with other mothers...God wrote us into each other's stories so that we may mother together. We aren't meant to do it alone.
Shelly Radic, in her book Momology, eloquently puts it this way,
“In the midst of bonding with one little human being,
we feel very isolated from the rest of the world.”
It's a dangerous place to be: Isolation. You're trapped with only your own thoughts. Criticisms. Perceptions. You need at least one "safe" person to talk to. Someone who will listen, encourage, uplift, and not judge you or your circumstances. No matter what. An unconditional, two-way street, kind-of friendship. It's a once-in-a-lifetime find. Seek her. Find her. Hang on to her.
"God is stirring those whose hearts are longing to see these loose ends tied up. Those are connections we need to actively search out and begin to develop. Sisters, I believe it is our time. Nurture, the language of the feminine heart, is being restored as women arise, recognize each other, and begin to connect for strength and purpose.”
--Lisa Bevere, Nurture
Be that friend to others. Reach out. Be brilliant.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
--Marianne Williamson, quoted in Lisa Bevere's book, Nurture.
This quote was so empowering for me. When you are surrounded by people who make you feel yucky, find a different circle. There are others like you, and they're looking for you, too. Don't surround yourself with women (or men) who dim your light, take the wind out of your sails, steal your joy, or want to compete with you.
In my son's favorite bedtime story, The Night You were Born, Nancy Tillman says,
"You are the one and only you."
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well.”