I believe in God. Which God? Well, that's the thing...I believe there is ONE God; I'm not sure how that fits in with all of these religions. Does it have to be all or nothing? Does it have to be a "zero-sum" game? Black and white? I think most people say "yes, it does."
All I have, right now, is a long list of questions.
My parents and my grandparents are Buddhist. My husband's family is Muslim. I am Christian. At least I think I am. But I'm not sure I have enough conviction to be Christian. "Faith" is a word that is used to accept the unknown, the unexplainable. But I'm wired to want to know "why".
How can I follow a religion that claims not be judgmental, but only accepts their religion's ways? Its beliefs? One that judges the entire world's people? How can I follow a religion that says my parents, my grandparents, my husband, and his entire family are all ? I want to know "how".
Am I a hypocrite? A fake? Probably. But I need to know more. I don't want to live my life misrepresenting my true beliefs. I need a religion that is accepting of ALL. That believes in doing good. In striving to do the right thing. That empowers both sexes. That I can follow whole-heartedly. That I can believe. That I can be proud to teach to my son.