Monday, January 13, 2014


  1. 1.
    the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.

I met my husband when I was {barely} twenty, and he was {almost} forty-two.  *Gasp*  We dated for two years before my family knew about it; I used his daughter, who is 3 years younger than me, as my alibi for where I was spending all of my time away from home.
Somehow, we both knew, before I had read it in any marriage-advice books, that love is a CHOICE.  Thirteen years later, we still grow as individuals, as we grow together as one, and it is because of the choice we make to love each other.
There has always been a firestorm debate over the wife's role in a marriage.  There's a dirty word called submission that really gets the party started.  For my home, it's the most peaceful when I "know my role," and by that, I mean I show unconditional respect to my husband, and do my best to make his requests a priority in my day.  It seems pretty simple, but it is sometimes really hard to execute.  For whatever reason, his requests always get pushed on to the back-burner, because of all of the other responsibilities I've given myself.  And each time he makes a request, I feel inadequate.  I get immediately defensive, and feel like I have to justify what I've done with my day.
My husband and I run a business together, so he's not only my husband, he's also my boss.  On his favorite channel is CNBC, where business news is reported 24/7.  After the markets are closed, they sometimes have special informative programs.  One evening, he watched a special on Successful Partnerships, and by successful, I mean multi-gazillion dollar world-wide corporations.  There was exactly ONE point he took from this program, which lasted about an hour and a half:  there can only be ONE BOSS.  It explains why the partnership he had with his brother had dissolved.  They tried for an "equal" partnership, and failed because there was always a power struggle between them.
This speaks to me as to how important it is for me to recognize that he is the head of our household, and the head of our business.  And there's no doubt that our employees hold him in a much higher esteem than they do myself or our son, as they should.  After all, as my son at 2-years-old had expressed it so eloquently, "Daddy's the BIG BOSS."  My husband swears he didn't teach him that, but I suspect otherwise.
Then, there is Scriptural instruction on the like.  God commands us, very clearly, ""Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." [English Standard Version, Colossians 3:18-21]
Now, if we are to love God by being obedient to His command, and He is telling us in black and white: "WIVES, submit to your husbands, as fitting in the Lord," we are to submit to our husbands.  As much as society tells us we are equals.  50/50.  There can only by ONE head of the household.  There can only be ONE head of a body.  Just as Jesus Christ is the head of the body, while the church is the body of Christ, our husbands are the heads of our households.
If we look at Colossians 3:18-21, we would unequivocally agree with the Lord's command to our husbands to "love your wives," and to our children to "obey your parents in everything." Yet, we take issue with His command to us.
If the Bible is the key to unlocking the secrets that keep our marriages from prospering, why don't we go back to the source, and take God's advice.  He created us, and He knows what's best for us.  He gave us the instructions we need to have a successful partnership.
Some may, and I used to, point to the notion that my husband is an unbeliever, which would nullify his place as high priest in our home.  However, I have only found the opposite to be true, based on scripture.  "For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy." [1 Corinthians 7:14]  I proclaim that we are made holy because of our spouses, and that our children are also holy.  How would you rather have it?  Would you want your husband to be unrecognized, uprooted as high priest, and for you to be put in his place?  I say, "No, thank you."
"if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination." [Titus 1:6]
"To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” [Genesis 3:16]
"Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." [1 Peter 3:7]
If I want my husband to take his proper role as high priest of our household, I must treat him as such, and "call those things that are not as though they are." [Romans 4:17]
I believe God when He says, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved--you and your entire household." [Acts 16:31]
If I want God's promises to manifest in my life, and in my family, I must submit to God's commandments, by submitting to my husband, as The Lord commands.  There is no other way.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, " says the Lord. [Isaiah 55:8]  He doesn't expect us to understand.  He expects us to obey.
"But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."  [Joshua 24:15]  Oh, we will.

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