forgotten



Does this ever happen to you?  Everything you read or see points you in the same direction.  It's no coincidence.  God moves through our relationships.  He is telling me, right now, "follow the dream you forgot you had."  I have buried it away so deep, I don't remember how it went.  The dream is still alive in His heart, for me.  I have to ressurect it by strengthening my faith.  Only through seeking Him will I rediscover the dream He placed in my heart.  And if it is a dream He dreamed for me, how could He not make it come to pass? 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD,

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

~Jeremiah 29:11 NIV 

7/17 a little emotional

When a woman becomes a mother, she gets to feel a fraction of the love God feels for her, as His daughter.  Love that is comsuming.  Infinite.  Everlasting.  I never knew I could love like that.  And I never knew I could be loved like that.  A mother's love.  Father's love. 

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have.

For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

~Hebrews 13:5 NKJV

There's this Vietnamese saying my mom always rattles off, "A child may leave his parent, but a parent would never leave his/her child."  It always offended me, because I would never leave my parents.  But now that I am a mother, I get it.  Nothing Cooper ever does would anger me enough to leave or forsake him.  My love for him is unconditional.  God's love for me is unconditional.  There is nothing I could ever do that would anger God enough to leave or forsake me.  His grace is sufficient for me.

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

~2 Corinthians 12: 9 NKJV

As much as I fell in love with my son the second I laid eyes on him, I have continued to fall deeper and deeper, each day.  Today is his second birthday.  I thought I'd be an emotional wreck, but instead, I stand in awe of God's greatness.  It's one of those moments in my life that I know this life, this plan, this book was written for me.  Only me.  I am chosen.  And so is my son.  I will be forever grateful.  {okay, so maybe a little emotional.}

July

July is busy.  And it always creeps up on me.  For the second year in a row, I'm planning a birthday celebration for my son, and forgot my anniversary.  The only saving grace is that my husband forgot too.  And we're both relieved that we both forgot.  Is that wrong?  We had *just* spoken about it a couple of days prior...we concluded--no gifts, just dinner.  Well, we did go out to dinner, so I guess we did what we said we would do.  I'm trying to justify why we don't think it's a big deal, but deep-down, I feel pretty guilty about it.

My marriage is supposed to come second only to my relationship with God.  But everyday, it takes the back seat to my relationship with my son, to chores, to work, to...so many other things.  I know that he knows I love him.  That he's my partner.  My confidant.  My security.  My soulmate.  He needs me to tell him.  To show him.  I will.