April 17, 2011: I need answers

I believe in God.  Which God?  Well, that's the thing...I believe there is ONE God; I'm not sure how that fits in with all of these religions.  Does it have to be all or nothing?  Does it have to be a "zero-sum" game?  Black and white?  I think most people say "yes, it does."

All I have, right now, is a long list of questions. 

My parents and my grandparents are Buddhist.  My husband's family is Muslim.  I am Christian.  At least  I think I am.  But I'm not sure I have enough conviction to be Christian.  "Faith" is a word that is used to accept the unknown, the unexplainable.  But I'm wired to want to know "why". 

How can I follow a religion that claims not be judgmental, but only accepts their religion's ways?  Its beliefs?  One that judges the entire world's people?  How can I follow a religion that says my parents, my grandparents, my husband, and his entire family are all going to hell?  I want to know "how".

Am I a hypocrite?  A fake?  Probably.  But I need to know more.  I don't want to live my life misrepresenting my true beliefs.  I need a religion that is accepting of ALL.  That believes in doing good.  In striving to do the right thing.  That empowers both sexes.  That I can follow whole-heartedly.  That I can believe.  That I can be proud to teach to my son.