He Ate

It's been a tough week.  My baby boy has not been well since his birthday.  His body was attacked by a virus that caused his mouth to have sores in and on his mouth, making it impossible for him to eat for over a week.  His little body fought as hard as I've ever seen it fight.  For six days, he had a high fever.  He was losing weight right before me eyes, having only enough energy to be held.

I cried out to The Lord, through tears of heartache.  I laid hands on my baby, praying for the healing power of The Holy Spirit to enter his body and take away the pain.  

And when he finally ate, he ate blended soup, in the form of baby food...

And we celebrated!  We rejoiced, high-fived, and sent praises up to The Almighty!  

After canceling his birthday party, not once, but twice...two weeks in a row, I'm still just happy he ate.  Even though we've been to our pediatrician more in the last week than we have in the last year, my baby ate.  I am so grateful.  Thank you, God.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, 

do it all for the glory of God.

~1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV

For He has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one;

He has not hidden His face from him but has listened to his cry for help.

~Psalm 22:24 NIV

THREE

Photograph by: Jocelyn Sexton

My baby boy turns three, today.  THREE!!!  My first thought is, "I can't believe it's been three years, already; I can still remember the moment I laid eyes on him, like it was yesterday.  On the other hand, I can't believe it's been ONLY three years since he's been in my life, because I was born to be his mother.  God wrote him into my story, actually, before I was born.  He has always been apart of me.  Apart of us.  Our family, as *un-traditional* as it is, a piecemeal of broken homes, provides an infinite amount of love for my Cooper.  He has brothers and sisters who love him more than anything, as they see their father, in a brand new season of life, starting all over again.  With a renewed sense of purpose.  One that is propelled by pure joy and countless blessings.  

Our hearts are full of gratitude for this life of love.  

We are looking forward to the plans You have laid out for us.  

Thank You for taking such good care of us, Lord.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well...

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:13-14,16 NIV

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

  

Too Good to be True

How could I possibly thank Him enough?  He placed a dream in my heart.  Lead me to it, step-by-step.  Made a way.  Made it come true.  And now, He's changing the seasons.  And I look forward to the next dream.  The next miracle.  The next season.  With gratitude and anticipation.  With complete trust.  Humbled to my knees by His Greatness.  His Mercy.  His Faithfulness.  Sometimes, it can seem like it's too good to be true...and then, I realize nothing is too good for His children. 

"All things work together for the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." ~Romans 8:28

"But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a Rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."

~Hebrews 11:6

Not Yet

The first time I asked my husband if I could go to church, he responded, "okay, but you're not taking my son with you."  It weighed heavily on my heart, the impossibility of winning this battle.  My dear friend encouraged me, "it is not your mountain to move."  I didn't even really know what that meant. 

Then, there was a new deal.  "As long as you don't preach or try to save me..."  But the transformation in me has been too great.  The parables and the scripture verses spill out of my mouth unwarranted.  The positive perspective and grateful heart I have is contagious.  God is softening his heart, too.  And he can't help but want what I have.  That's the greatness of our God.  He wants the best for each of us.  We need not worry about "how" or "when."  It will happen, because He always keeps His promises.  Always.  Period.

So, after a year of growing in my faith and maturity, my husband agreed our son could be dedicated to The Lord.  It's funny how God and my husband both knew I wasn't ready a year ago.  I needed every single message, every relationship, every encounter to bring me closer to Him.  To speak to my heart.  To test my conviction.  To know that I know that I know, that He is The Way and The Truth and The Life.

Prayers only go unanswered when you stop praying and lose heart.  You can pray and not worry. Prepare your heart and seek Him.  On purpose.  It will come to pass when He decides you're ready.     

The Joy of the Lord is my Strength

As I prepared a "lesson" to share with my mother's group, High Point Church Mama Chiks, I revisited a script that I wrote about a year ago, and I am in awe of the transformation He has made in me.

I've rewritten it, and the scripture references came to me like I've known them all my life.  I remember how hard it was to find them the first time I wrote that script.  It was one of my favorite lessons, and one that I learned a lot from myself.

I also realized how much "blogging it out" has helped in my transformation. (Thank you, mamahall, for encouraging me to do so.)  I ended up borrowing a lot of the references I made from my blog.  It was like a "works cited" page right at my fingertips :).  The new version is even better, so I thought I'd share it.  Since I'm in the typing mood.

Last year, we were introduced to the book Momology, by Shelly Radic.  The thesis of this book is that Motherhood is part art, part science, all faith, and a constant work in progress.  It provides commentary to a couple of important concepts taught in the Word.  First, that we are all wonderfully made.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” ~Psalm 139:13-14, 16

It also emphasizes the fact that we have all been specifically designed to match what our children need in a mother.  We were made for them, and they were made for us.  And we were all created in God’s own image (Genesis 1:27).

As mothers, we always feel as if we have to be strong enough.  For our children, for our husbands, for our parents, for everyone.  And oftentimes, we hold on to that “super-mom” title so tightly, we forget to ask for help.  We grow resentful of the people for whom we are being strong.  We have to learn to trust God with our lives.  To turn over control to Him. 

“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.  They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” ~Isaiah 40:31

If you have time to look up Matthew West’s song “Strong Enough" it has really powerful lyrics.  Have you heard it?  {I took the liberty of removing some repetitious words and verses.} 

“Strong Enough” by Matthew West

You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through
Well, forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do on my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up, I'm not strong enough

Hands of mercy, won't You cover me?
Lord, right now I'm asking You to be
Strong enough for the both of us

Well, maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up
'Cause when I'm finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up and reaching out

'Cause I'm broken, down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God and You are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
I don't have to be strong enough

Hands of mercy, won't You cover me?
Lord, right now I'm asking You to be
Strong enough

When you feel like you have nowhere else to turn, turn to Him.  He will rescue you. 

 “I love you, O Lord, my strength.  The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer…The cords of death entangled me, the torrents of destruction overwhelm me…In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help.  From His temple He heard my voice…The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because He was angry.  He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me…He rescued me because He delighted in me.” ~Psalm 18:1-19

Take an index card.  Write down your strengths on one side and your weaknesses on the other…

The author of Momology says this, “If we’ve been specifically designed to match what our child needs in a mom, it only makes sense to focus on the strengths within that design.  Developing our strengths will allow us to be the best mom possible.  While being aware of and managing our weaknesses is good, constantly focusing on them is destructive, causing a breakdown in our self-perception and distorting the purposefully and wonderfully designed image we should have of ourselves."

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it [weakness] away from me.  But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."  ~2 Corninthians 12:8-10 

Which side has the longest list?  Most people are more aware of their weaknesses. 

If you could choose only one list to cut and paste into your child’s brain, which side would you insert?  Duh, we’d all choose our list of strengths.  If we want to raise up confident, resilient, strong children, we have to live by example. 

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” ~Proverbs 22:6

Let’s make the same choices for ourselves and begin focusing on our strengths.  The book offers a great way to work on focusing on our strengths.  Here’s how…

First, know that each one of your weaknesses derives from one of your strengths.  I’ll give you an example.  I have a tendency to be impulsive.  I could say that this is one of my weaknesses.  But if I look at it from a strengths perspective, I may say that I am decisive.  It’s all a matter of seeing yourself in a positive manner, so that you can use your strengths more effectively.  Let’s say that you’re unorganized.  You don’t like schedules or planning or commitments.  If you focus on those negatives—viewing them as weaknesses, it can be self-destructive.  Instead, appreciate the flexibility you offer yourself and your family each day. 

Now, find the strength behind each weakness you think you have…Starting with the list you’ve made.  Beside each weakness you’ve written down, identify the strength from which it is derived.  It may be tricky to do, at first, but if you practice it enough, you will start to change the perception you have of yourself. 

Also, take time out of each day to spend time with God.  It will change your life.  I promise. 

But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.”  ~Deuteronomy 4:29

Ever-Present

I am at peace, because He is with me.  In similar circumstances in the past, I would have cried.  I would have felt helpless and lost.  But not now.  Not anymore.  I am convicted.  I have been set free.  I know Truth.  I know God. 

I closed my eyes and called out to Him.  He comforted me. 

I reach for my Bible, unsure of what I am looking for...I find Psalm 18. 

"1I love you, O Lord, my strength.  2The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer...5The cords of death entangled me, the torrents of destruction overwhelm me...6In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help.  From His temple He heard my voice...7The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because He was angry.

16He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters.  17He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me...19He rescued me because He delighted in me. 

20The Lord has dealt with me according to my righteousness, according to the cleanness of my hands He has rewarded me.  21For I have kept the ways of the Lord; I have not done evil by turning from my God.

25To the faithful, You show Yourself faithful, to the blameless You show Yourself blameless, 26to the pure You show Yourself pure, but to the crooked You show Yourself shrewd.

30As for God, His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord is flawless.  He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him...32It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect...34He trains my hands for battle...36You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn.

46The Lord lives!  Praise be to my Rock!  Exalted be God my Savior!"

He is ever-present in my time of need.  I will not doubt His perfect timing.  I will hold steadfast to His promise.  He will deliver me.  He will.



Image Source Page: http://fellowshiproom.org/2010/06/28/the-discipline-of-prayer/



accepting the challenge

 i've heard the term "bucket list" used over and over, but i hadn't ever before accepted the 'challenge' to actually write it down.  so here it is...

pass the CPA exam.  learn how to sew.  start a photography business.  visit Europe, South America, Austrailia, Albania, England...  finish The Holy Bible.  have another baby.  ski, snowboard, surf.  climb a mountain.  drive cross-country.  be a room-mother.  coach a team.  write a song.  have a video go viral.  model my son.  stay married until death-does-us-part. {not in any particular order}

This is my entry in the Just Ask Bucket List Getaway Giveaway. Just Ask offers a breast and ovarian cancer screening and is encouraging people to share 15 things that I want to enjoy in my lifetime as a reminder to be aware of my health. Want to enter? Head over to TodaysMama.com to get the details.

If the moon stays out until morning

Cooper has noticed the moon out during the day, because he remembers what I read to him from

Nancy Tillman's On The Night You Were Born: 

"If the moon stays up until morning one day,
Or a ladybug lands and decides to stay,
Or a little bird sits at your window awhile,
It’s because they’re all hoping to see you smile…"

My son knows that he is loved.  And that means the world to me.  We make a big deal out of it, when he points it out in the sky.  Because it IS a big deal in his little world.  And his little world is my whole world.  



He requests it, by name, 'Bears Dancing'



  

Be Brilliant

A very good friend of mine reminded me of something I came to know in my heart to be true, about forging close friendships with other mothers...God wrote us into each other's stories so that we may mother together.  We aren't meant to do it alone.

Shelly Radic, in her book Momology, eloquently puts it this way, 

“In the midst of bonding with one little human being,

we feel very isolated from the rest of the world.”

It's a dangerous place to be:  Isolation.  You're trapped with only your own thoughts.  Criticisms.  Perceptions.  You need at least one "safe" person to talk to.  Someone who will listen, encourage, uplift, and not judge you or your circumstances.  No matter what.  An unconditional, two-way street, kind-of friendship.  It's a once-in-a-lifetime find.  Seek her.  Find her.  Hang on to her.    

"God is stirring those whose hearts are longing to see these loose ends tied up.  Those are connections we need to actively search out and begin to develop.  Sisters, I believe it is our time.  Nurture, the language of the feminine heart, is being restored as women arise, recognize each other, and begin to connect for strength and purpose.”

--Lisa Bevere, Nurture

Be that friend to others.  Reach out.  Be brilliant.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.  It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. 

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. 

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

--Marianne Williamson, quoted in Lisa Bevere's book, Nurture.

This quote was so empowering for me.  When you are surrounded by people who make you feel yucky, find a different circle.  There are others like you, and they're looking for you, too.  Don't surround yourself with women (or men) who dim your light, take the wind out of your sails, steal your joy, or want to compete with you.  

In my son's favorite bedtime story, The Night You were Born, Nancy Tillman says, 

"You are the one and only you." 

  “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful.  I know that full well.”

~Psalm 139:13-14

Praise Report!

For anyone who has been "keeping up", you may have noticed how God has moved mountains in my life.  I started this blog out of desparation.  I was lost.  I was scared.  I didn't know how to ask my husband if he'd allow raising our kids in The Church.  I hid this fear from my Christian social circle.  I was ashamed.  He had been against it in previous discussions.  I knew I didn't want to defy him.  I didn't want to go behind his back.  I didn't want to take on the battle.  I did not know how to ask him.  I asked HIM, instead, to move this mountain for me. 

I not only found the courage, but the joy, not only to attend church, but to truly believe.  My husband is not only supportive, but he's proud.  Encouraging.  He tells me, daily, how proud he is.  He tells me how he has seen the change in me.  And how it has helped him to change his own perspective.  To gain a perspective of gratitude.  We're less likely to seek, or expect gratitude. We're learning how to appreciate our countless blessings, and appreciate each other.  He tells me about the conversations he has with other people, how he brags about the fact that his wife takes his boys to church every Sunday.  He tells me how envious everyone is.  I used to be envious.      

He believes me when I say "I prayed for that."  Now, he's asking me, "did you pray about that?"  Yes, actually, I did.  I pray often, about everything.  And when I asked him why he thought I go to church each Sunday...he shrugged.  He sort of knew.  I gather he thought it had something to do with our boys.  Or needing to find a place in this life, in this world.  No.  That's not why.  (Although, those are wonderful derivatives.)  This is why:  I go to thank Him.

And, there's more.  My two-year old says, "Thank you, God.  Amen."  He nearly recites a book we read, every night, titled Thank You, God.  (for everything).  He says "God bless you" to Daddy when he sneezes.  He won't grow up, as I did, not knowing if there's a God or not.  God is apart of his vocabulary and apart of his life. 

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

~Proverbs 22:6

My teenager, a year ago, was a self-proclaimed, 'conformist' athiest. [this is someone who was raised Catholic, and endured the year-plus Confirmation process.  how could i lead him back?]  We fought nearly every day.  I carried guilt over being an "evil step-mother."  I felt like a failure, because he couldn't pass his classes.  I couldn't get him to even care.

Leave it to God to use a cute girl to ask him to come to youth group, one Wednesday night.  Once I saw the willingness, the 'I'm-not-so-completely-against-it' surrender,  I took him to church with me.  Now...it's just what we do Sunday mornings.  No questions asked.  No reluctance (well, there's a little reluctance; he is a teenager, afterall).  He wore a rosary to his first day of school.  His senior year.  He's on track to graduate early.  How much more proud can a mother be?  When Pastor's Wife prayed a back-to-school blessing over him that ended with "this will be your Finest Hour," he believed it.  Enough to want a tattoo that says, "Finest Hour." 

We'll see about that.

"As for me and my house, we WILL serve The Lord." ~Joshua 24:15

          

...but a breath

"Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. 

Remind me that my days are numbered--how fleeting my life is. 

You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. 

My entire lifetime is just a moment to You; at best, each of us is but a breath."

~Psalm 39:4-5 NLT

Let me live a life You are proud of.  Let me always be grateful for Your blessings.  Your mercy.  Your grace.  Let me inspire, in others, the desire to live a life of grace and mercy and gratitude.  Let me inspire, in others, the desire to seek You, as I desire to seek You, in everything I do, during this breath of life.  Amen.

Warfare

There are good forces and evil forces at war for our souls.  The enemy is a liar.  He tells you that you are alone.  That you are worthless.  He lurks in the shadows, even while you're doing well, and he waits.  He waits for the opportunity to whisper these lies in your ear.  He waits until you're alone, with only your own self-destructive thoughts. 

We have to be steadfast in our belief that we serve a mighty God, who will never forsake us.  We have to believe that we are equipped for the battle.  Shield yourself with the armor He has fitted for you.  Take up the sword that He has forged for you.  He is only a breath away.  Reach out, and take His hand.  It's never too late.  He is always ready to fight for you.  Now, you have to be ready to fight for HIM.

"Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places." ~Ephesians 6:11-12 NLT

*This post was inspired by Highpoint Church Pastor Gary Simon's message "Fighting the Good Fight of Faith".  Listen to it here: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/fighting-good-fight-faith/id418790796?i=96450447 

one bad potato

i know the saying usually goes, "one bad apple..." but i bought a bag of potatoes the other day, with this one rotten potato that made the whole bag stink!  if i had left it in there, the rest of them would have surely rotted along with it.  i dumped them all out into the sink, threw the nasty one out, and washed the rest of them off.

it made me think.  when you have that one bad person in your life, your business, or your circle, throw him out!  if not in a physical sense, do so mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.  find peace.  don't let his rotteness spoil your day, your mood, or your relationships.  it's not as easy to do with a person, as it is with rotten produce, but the result is inevitable in either case.

"Don't envy evil people or desire their company. 

For their hearts plot violence, and their words always stir up trouble."

~Proverbs 24:1-2 NLT     

hope you're well

i read this quote today, "Respect people who find time for you in their busy schedule.  But love people who never look at their schedule when you need them."  it made me think...about my circle.  i don't want to regret having any relationship.  i heard a speaker once explain that everything we need is in a relationship.  whether that relationship is marriage, friendship, blood, or spiritual, God has appointed each encounter.  He wrote our stories to cross paths. 

"God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God."

~Romans 8:28 NLT

i like to give more than i take, but some people make it too easy to give, and impossible to take.  i hate to question whether it's worth my effort, so i normally don't think that far...i just jump right in.  and in the end, i often get hurt.  but i think it's worth the risk.  because when i find that relationship that completes a part of me, i become more of who i am supposed to be. 

"The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become--because He made us."

~C.S. Lewis

 

  

no time to cry

Each day has gotten progressively more difficult over the last five days, and although it doesn't seem relief is anywhere in sight, I have a peace within me, a "peace that surpasses all understanding" (Philippians 4:7).  This peace will guard my heart and my mind in Jesus Christ.  

I know God will deliver me from this valley.  He is with me, and He comforts me (Psalm 23:4).   

My body is broken, my flesh is exhausted; I witness the pain of those closest to me.  But The Lord delights in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For His grace is sufficient for me.  His strength is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). 

I am calm.  I am faithful.  Because He is faithful.  For it is in this time of famine and drought that seeds of prosperity will be sown (Genesis 26:1-13).  When else could we reap a hundredfold?

Through this adversity, I am learning what is important:  Family.  Faith.  Prayer.  Perspective.  Gratitude.  Trust.  and Belief.

"You keep track of all my sorrows. 

You have collected all my tears in your bottle. 

You have recorded each one in your book."

~Psalm 56:8 NLT

forgotten



Does this ever happen to you?  Everything you read or see points you in the same direction.  It's no coincidence.  God moves through our relationships.  He is telling me, right now, "follow the dream you forgot you had."  I have buried it away so deep, I don't remember how it went.  The dream is still alive in His heart, for me.  I have to ressurect it by strengthening my faith.  Only through seeking Him will I rediscover the dream He placed in my heart.  And if it is a dream He dreamed for me, how could He not make it come to pass? 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD,

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

~Jeremiah 29:11 NIV 

7/17 a little emotional

When a woman becomes a mother, she gets to feel a fraction of the love God feels for her, as His daughter.  Love that is comsuming.  Infinite.  Everlasting.  I never knew I could love like that.  And I never knew I could be loved like that.  A mother's love.  Father's love. 

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have.

For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

~Hebrews 13:5 NKJV

There's this Vietnamese saying my mom always rattles off, "A child may leave his parent, but a parent would never leave his/her child."  It always offended me, because I would never leave my parents.  But now that I am a mother, I get it.  Nothing Cooper ever does would anger me enough to leave or forsake him.  My love for him is unconditional.  God's love for me is unconditional.  There is nothing I could ever do that would anger God enough to leave or forsake me.  His grace is sufficient for me.

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

~2 Corinthians 12: 9 NKJV

As much as I fell in love with my son the second I laid eyes on him, I have continued to fall deeper and deeper, each day.  Today is his second birthday.  I thought I'd be an emotional wreck, but instead, I stand in awe of God's greatness.  It's one of those moments in my life that I know this life, this plan, this book was written for me.  Only me.  I am chosen.  And so is my son.  I will be forever grateful.  {okay, so maybe a little emotional.}

July

July is busy.  And it always creeps up on me.  For the second year in a row, I'm planning a birthday celebration for my son, and forgot my anniversary.  The only saving grace is that my husband forgot too.  And we're both relieved that we both forgot.  Is that wrong?  We had *just* spoken about it a couple of days prior...we concluded--no gifts, just dinner.  Well, we did go out to dinner, so I guess we did what we said we would do.  I'm trying to justify why we don't think it's a big deal, but deep-down, I feel pretty guilty about it.

My marriage is supposed to come second only to my relationship with God.  But everyday, it takes the back seat to my relationship with my son, to chores, to work, to...so many other things.  I know that he knows I love him.  That he's my partner.  My confidant.  My security.  My soulmate.  He needs me to tell him.  To show him.  I will.

Thirsty

When I get caught up in "Life", Earthly, Flesh-driven Life,  I forget to make the time to nurture my relationship with God.  I allow Life to rule me, instead of allowing His will to be done in and on my Life. 

The result: 
My other relationships suffer. 
My priorities are completely out of whack. 
My center is off balance. 
My soul is thirsty. 

But regardless of how far behind I fall in my daily Bible reading, or how long it's been since I had a heart-to-heart with God, He will make sure I know He is still here.  And He is the same.  Today, yesterday, forever. 

Psalm 143: 6-12

 ⁶ I lift my hands to you in prayer.
      I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.
                         Interlude

 ⁷ Come quickly, Lord, and answer me,
      for my depression deepens.
   Don’t turn away from me,
      or I will die.
 ⁸ Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,
      for I am trusting you.
   Show me where to walk,
      for I give myself to you.
 ⁹ Rescue me from my enemies, Lord;
      I run to you to hide me.
 ¹⁰ Teach me to do your will,
      for you are my God.
   May your gracious Spirit lead me forward
      on a firm footing.
 ¹¹ For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life.
      Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress.
 ¹² In your unfailing love, silence all my enemies
      and destroy all my foes,
      for I am your servant.

Psalm 31

¹ O Lord, I have come to you for protection;

      don’t let me be disgraced.

      Save me, for you do what is right.

 ² Turn your ear to listen to me;

      rescue me quickly.

   Be my rock of protection,

      a fortress where I will be safe.

 ³ You are my rock and my fortress.

      For the honor of your name, lead me out of this danger.

 ⁴ Pull me from the trap my enemies set for me,

      for I find protection in you alone.

 ⁵ I entrust my spirit into your hand.
      Rescue me, Lord, for you are a faithful God.
 ⁶ I hate those who worship worthless idols.
      I trust in the Lord.
 ⁷ I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love,
      for you have seen my troubles,
      and you care about the anguish of my soul.
 ⁸ You have not handed me over to my enemies
      but have set me in a safe place.
 ⁹ Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am in distress.
      Tears blur my eyes.
      My body and soul are withering away.
 ¹⁰ I am dying from grief;
      my years are shortened by sadness.
   Sin has drained my strength;
      I am wasting away from within.
 ¹¹ I am scorned by all my enemies
      and despised by my neighbors—
      even my friends are afraid to come near me.
   When they see me on the street,
      they run the other way.
 ¹² I am ignored as if I were dead,
      as if I were a broken pot.
 ¹³ I have heard the many rumors about me,
      and I am surrounded by terror.
   My enemies conspire against me,
      plotting to take my life.
 ¹⁴ But I am trusting you, O Lord,
      saying, “You are my God!”
 ¹⁵ My future is in your hands.
      Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly.
 ¹⁶ Let your favor shine on your servant.
      In your unfailing love, rescue me.
 ¹⁷ Don’t let me be disgraced, O Lord,
      for I call out to you for help.
   Let the wicked be disgraced;
      let them lie silent in the grave.
 ¹⁸ Silence their lying lips—
      those proud and arrogant lips that accuse the godly.
 ¹⁹ How great is the goodness
      you have stored up for those who fear you.
   You lavish it on those who come to you for protection,
      blessing them before the watching world.
 ²⁰ You hide them in the shelter of your presence,
      safe from those who conspire against them.
   You shelter them in your presence,
      far from accusing tongues.
 ²¹ Praise the Lord,
      for he has shown me the wonders of his unfailing love.
      He kept me safe when my city was under attack.
 ²² In panic I cried out,
      “I am cut off from the Lord!”
   But you heard my cry for mercy
      and answered my call for help.
 ²³ Love the Lord, all you godly ones!
      For the Lord protects those who are loyal to him,
      but he harshly punishes the arrogant.
 ²⁴ So be strong and courageous,
      all you who put your hope in the Lord!

Psalm 31 New Living Translation (NLT)